Down the Stretch : The AL

Well, we’re heading into crunch time so now seems like a good time to see who’s ready to make the move.

AL East

Boston Red Sox

Boston didn’t really make any big moves at the deadline but sit in pole position in the east.

The duo of Curt Schilling and Josh Beckett have stayed healthy and allows the team to avoid big losing streaks and coupled with the great infield D and another MVP type season from Big Papi the Sox have to feel good about their chances.

New York Yankees

They got Abreu at the deadline which should make their already potent offence even better whether he regains his power stroke or not. Elsewhere the pitching remains unconvincing with Randy Johnson still not clicking and Mike Mussina doing well but not great. Chin Ming Wang has been the most consistent of the starters but he’s far from being a guy you fear facing.

The Yankees probably have more latent talent than any club in the Majors right now and you can’t help but be impressed by how well they’ve done with all the injuries to key personnel. They could easily bring it all together and win it all but they could also play .500 ball and see the other contenders get away from them in a tough AL.

The Rest

The injury to Alex Rios couldn’t have come at a worse time for Toronto and the apparent unrest in the club house also doesn’t bode well. They’ve had a strong year and Halladay and BJ Ryan will likely both get attention on the Cy Young ballot but its tough keeping up with Boston and New York.

Baltimore are blooding some young pitchers and should be an interesting team to watch but they are way out of it…where has Nick Markakis’ power gone?

E6 Upton is up in Tampa and playing third now so that‘ll be an adventure. As per usual it’ll be interesting to see who gets called up for a cup of coffee (Delmon is restless). It also wouldn’t surprise me to see Evan Longoria get some time with the way he’s ploughing through the system.

AL Central

Detroit Tigers

I still think Detroit will hit a wall soon as their young guys run out of steam but they have just played so well and their pitching staff has been so awesome that if they do hit the skids they’ll be so far ahead they’ll make the playoffs anyway.

You have to feel sorry for Justin Verlander as the season he is having would usually see him as a shoo in as the Rookie of the Year in the AL but Papelbon and Liriano are going to make the competition tough.

Chicago White Sox

As with the Yankees all the parts are here to win it all but whereas the Yankees have been hit by injuries, the ChiSox, particularly the rotation, have just looked hung over from last year. Mark Buerhle in particular has been well under par and right now doesn’t look like one of the best pitchers in the game…which he actually is (no, really he is).

The line-up still is plenty potent enough to see them through to the playoffs with Jim Thome, Paul Konerko and Jermaine Dye as good a 3-4-5 combo as anywhere in baseball and Joe Crede is also hitting the ball well which might see him get the Gold Glove he has deserved the last couple of years (hitting shouldn’t count for that but it does).

Minnesota Twins

Up until recently I was really liking the Twins chances of winning the Wild Card and getting to the World Series but with Liriano going on the DL with elbow problems things don’t look quite so rosy.

Of course they still have Johan Santana who is still as dominant as ever and they are also getting steady performances from the back end with Carlos Silva and Brad Radke. Then they have Justin Morneau having a breakout year and providing the club with the big bopper they’ve been missing the last couple of years. Then you bring in Joe Mauer who is looking for a batting title and Luis Castillo setting the table and you know they are still in the hunt…although having Liriano back would definitely help.

The Rest

Cleveland have been a huge disappointment (I’m so understated) as they have missed a lot of the guys who made their pen so good last year and have generally been sloppy in their play. It is good to see Kelly Shoppach, Andy Marte, Jeremy Sowers and newly acquired Shin-Soo Choo getting playing time as they could all fill big holes on that line-up for next season.

I know this sounds weird but I would say that things have gone quite well for the Royals. Of course they are in last place and we all knew that would happen but Billy Butler has looked excellent in Wichita, Zack Greinke seems to be getting his head back in gear in Omaha, they’ve shed some high priced drift wood and they managed to sign #1 draft pick Luke Hochevar so what more could they really have asked for?

AL West

Oakland A’s

Even without Rich Harden the pitching has been superb all year for Oakland but it’s the age old problem of scoring runs that has stopped them leaving everyone out west eating their dust. You just have to look at the corners where Eric Chavez and Nick Swisher are the only barely passable bats for their positions and Bobby Crosby just hasn’t produced either. In summary, they score fewer runs than the Royals.

Their pitching will definitely keep them in the race but they need their hitters to step up or the Angels to implode to win the division because the Wild Card isn’t coming from this division.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California of The United States of America of the Earth in the Solar System

Hey everyone, its John Lackey and he’s wondering if it would be OK if people voted for him for the Cy?

Bartolo Colon, Jered Weaver (for now) and the rest of the rotation are finally chipping in and the bullpen is looking solid but the Angels have just been so sloppy this year. In the field they are making easy plays look difficult and are just making terrible decisions and that’s also evident in their base running (even though they lead the league in stolen bases I don't want to know how many times they've made stupid outs trying to advance) and those are not typical characteristics of a Mike Scioscia team. If they can start playing smart ball then the division is theirs.

Texas Rangers

They needed pitching at the deadline so they went out and got Carlos Lee…it’s a plan I guess. What that move does is give the Rangers a great offence (well maybe I should say more great or greater), even with Mark Teixeira not quite showing the thunder we know he has.

The bullpen had problems early on but have come around with Akinori Otsuka closing but questions are still there with the rotation and picking up Kip Wells is either going to be an insane work of genius or just insane. He has shown promise in his young career…just not in the last two years. Maybe it’s a sign of the confidence they have in the first of the DVD boys to be promoted (Edinson Volquez)?

The Rest (well that’s Seattle then)

Seattle aren’t far out but they just have too many good teams already ahead of them.
Ichiro has been his usual superb self and Felix Hernandez has had a fine rookie campaign (can you believe I heard someone go off on one about how much of a let down Felix has been? HE’S ONLY 20!!).

What would the Mets give for Kazmir now?

In 2004 the worst trade in recent history took place when a confused (and one would think psychologically unstable) management team at the Mets decided that they should trade their number one prospect.

New York foolishly believed they had a shot at a World Championship so in a logic defying moment proceeded to trade one Scott Kazmir to the Devil Rays for pitcher Victor Zambrano and young relief pitcher Bartolome Fortunato.

The baseball world scratched its head and looked on perplexed.

What were they doing?

First of all the Mets had no chance of a World Series in 2004, and it was so clear that they were being robbed by Tampa that I am surprised Met fans didn't actually file a police report.

Salt was poured into the wound when Zambrano actually arrived in New York injured and made just three starts before he went to the DL for the rest of the season.

Fast forward two years and what do you have?

The Rays sit dead last in the Al east and the Mets seem to be heading to the post season - and how they could do with their young prospect back.

Kazmir is in his most dominating season yet. The young Rays pitcher has silenced his critics and lived up to his expectations already notching 139 strikeouts and 10 wins.
Zambrano is still a fussy pitcher with good stuff but little control and Bartolome Fortunato has faded into obscurity.

I'm sure New York would be willing to offer some nice players to Tampa to re-attain Kazmir's services but it's not going to happen.

Kazmir's year has been so successful that the Rays have put him on the "untouchable" list and have told everyone to keep their greasy mitts off of him.

I wonder that if that horrible trade in 2004 will come back to haunt the Mets this season.
I think they are going to the World Series and if Kazmir was in their rotation they would certainly have three solid starters with Pedro and Glavine.
Without him, or another pitcher of his calibre, I fear they could be dominated by any of the contenders who take the American League.
The Mets certainly seem to have paid a big price Zambrano and Fortunato but they may end up paying an even bigger price come October.

Braves Bolster Bullpen (Hooray for Alliteration)

Its been said before but it bares repeating, John Schuerholtz is a genius of a GM. It may have taken a while but Atlanta have finally patched up the back of their bullpen and have given up practically nothing to get it done.

Wickman may be at the end of his career but he has a proven track record closing out games and that goes right into this season and with the depth of young catching talent in the system (McCann was an All Star this year and Saltalamacchia looks like being better) they were able to let go of Maximiliano Ramirez who has some good upside but a long way to go.

Time can only tell if the Atlanta brain trust has pulled it out of the fire again.

Boo A-Rod?

OK, before I start I feel I must start by saying I don’t like A-Rod. I don’t like the way he seems to worry so much about how people feel about him which only serves to make him appear a little fake. Now, I dare say he’s a perfectly pleasant and inoffensive guy who no doubt does good work for charitable organisations but the world of sport is a fickle place, especially when it comes to the world of the fan, and I don’t like A-Rod.

Just recently Yankee fans have taken to booing Rodriguez and I ask the question, why? Any fan of a team wants their boys to succeed and A-Rod was the MVP of the league last year so you can’t say he’s deadwood and even though I don’t like the guy I can’t deny that he is one of the very best players in the game so why boo the guy? Its ridiculous, he may have the personality of the fluff I find in my belly button but he’s always a good bet to finish amongst the leaders in every offensive category that matters and while no one is worth the money he gets paid, few get as close to that as he does.

What do people really want from him? Does he have to be a mixture of Rickey, The Wizard and The Babe? Newsflash people, no one will EVER be that. Is he the next Mike Schmidt? Is it fair to really expect that from someone? Can’t people just look at the things he does rather than constantly try to fit him into some kind of predetermined notion of what they think he should be? As much as my friend Neil wants to believe A-Rod is a Gold Glove calibre fielder, he really isn’t but then again he’s not awful and he doesn’t really need to be that good because he’s there to be an offensive juggernaut and players should be used to their strengths.

I could understand if it were road fans who were booing him or if A-Rod had gone out and said how much the Yankees suck (if he said that I think his overall popularity might sky rocket) but for his own fans to boo him is ludicrous. I don’t see Twins fans getting on Santana’s back or Braves fans getting on Smoltz. Besides, there are too many big profile players on that roster that the performance of one guy shouldn’t be the be all and end all for that team.

Yankee fans, show some class because I don’t want to be defending Yankee players, especially ones I really don’t like.

Final Votes For All Star Game

So the bulk of the All Star teams have been selected and the fans get to pick the last of the players who will represent their league. The National League is fairly straight forward with a Nomar Garciaparra playing much like he did when he was winning batting crowns (except for the D). Many, including myself, thought that Nomar was well passed his best and he has certainly been dishing out the humble pie. He is a fairly obvious choice and it really says a lot about the process that a Bobby Abreu with a sub-.500 slugging percentage is even on the ballot. The Phils should plug him into the leadoff spot or deal the guy.

The AL selection is a lot tougher. The idea that we have to select one of Francisco Liriano, Travis Hafner and Justin Verlander because none of them are in the team already is crazy, especially when Mark Redman is there just because we need a Royal. Even Ramon Hernandez probably feels bad because he’s having a career year and a Pudge Rodriguez on the wane gets voted in ahead of Joe Mauer.

I really want Justin Verlander to be there mainly because I had him pegged as the Rookie of the Year before the season started and it’d be nice to massage my ego a bit. What you can’t deny is that 10 wins by the All Star break for a rookie is just outstanding and The Tigers wouldn’t be where they are without him. Having said all that, as good as Verlander has been Liriano has been better and right now he might be the best pitcher in baseball. A sub-2.00 ERA, a WHIP below 1.00, almost five times as many strikeouts as walks and well over a K an inning and you have mini-Santana and the guy who must be voted in.

It would be wrong to talk about the nominees and not wax lyrical about Travis Hafner who has once again been prodigious in the heart of the Indians line-up but I guess he’s destined to be the rough diamond waiting to be cut and dazzle the baseball world in many a pennant race during his career. It is the plague of playing in middle-America rather than in the big cities that someone with this much ability fails to be plugged in automatically. At least we don’t have the Russian roulette of hoping the worthy get in ahead of a Yankee or BoSox player this year.

Get Well Soon Mr Gammons

Peter Gammons has undergone surgery after suffering from a brain aneurysm and is listed as being in good condition (all things are relative I guess).

Gammons is one of the few truly great baseball writers of the modern era and really hearkens back to the glorious writers of years past like Shirley Povich and Hugh Fullerton. The warmth of his words might not be so apparent in his tv appearances for ESPN but few writers seem to truly 'get it' like he does. He treats it like a game rather than a business, a friend instead of just a simple subject matter.

Unsurprisingly there is has been an overwhelming wave of support from all corners of baseball wishing him a speedy recovery and we at Spurious Baseball certainly would like to add our voices to that cause. There has been so much lore written about this great sport and that lore has turned into poetry in the hands of the great sports writers and in this turbulent time we need more poetry from Peter Gammons.

Get well soon.

Royals Getting Brave?

Its draft time everyone and with the #1 pick the Kansas City Royals showed us all what the plan is for the new regime. By selecting pitcher Luke Hochevar they have gone for someone who is almost the finished product with a variety of power stuff that could have seen him go #1 last year but of course that was curtailed by the infamous Scott Boras.

The Dodgers drafted Hochevar last year with the 40th overall pick and threw a lot in his direction but they never quite managed to get him to ink the contract and you have to think KC will have a similar battle on their hands.

If KC are willing to break the bank then its not too hard to think that they intend to go into a three to five year plan as they hope to build a rotation around Greinke and Hochevar and seak to complement Alex Gordon in the line-up. It might not be much but it's a start.

Rocket Sets Record For Un-Retiring

In perhaps the least surprising surprise of the season, Roger Clemens has re-signed with the Astros for a whole lotta semolians.

Some foolhardy folks seemed to think he might end up in New York or Boston but this really was the only move he was likely to make. With his ‘arrangement’ that he doesn’t have to turn up to the ballpark every day like any other player and the advantage of being close to home and family, it was unlikely to really work anywhere else.

The Rocket will continue his Hall of Fame career at first in A ball where he will briefly be united on the field with his son and then is scheduled to move up a level each start, assuming everything goes well. In fact the only concern in bringing back Clemens this far into the season is how quickly he regains his sharpness because we all know how vigilant he is with regards to his conditioning. I don’t know what he’s been up to since pitching in the WBC but it will be hard to really come in and be the pitcher Clemens is expected to be (and the pitcher he’s being paid substantially to be) without having that Spring Training-esque opportunity to get back in sync with his team mates and dust off the cobwebs.

Of course the ultimate litmus test down the line will be if Houston manage to get to the playoffs (why else would you make such an investment?) and even if Clemens pitches well (a repeat of last year is a bit much to ask) and, as predicted, Pettitte and other players up their game, I still find it hard to see them going back but, as much as I dislike Clemens, having him on board certainly won’t hurt their chances.

Bye Bye Bairdy

Well, the architect of futility has finally been replaced as Allan Baird is to be usurped by Dayton Moore and if anyone is in a position to finally get something started with The Royals, it’s the former assistant to The Braves GM John Schuerholtz who might be the best there is today.
Moore won’t take over the full time job until after the upcoming draft but many will be looking very closely at what The Royals do with the #1 overall pick. That will give everyone an indication as to whether he will emulate what The Braves have done in recent years and build from the bottom up, or will they look to try and pick someone who can make an impact within the next three years?

He certainly doesn’t have a lot to work with as the farm system lacks more than maybe a couple of guys who could eventually make an impact and the big league roster has the recent acquisitions of overpaid guys who are way passed their prime (Baird’s final legacy) and the most promising pitcher in terms of ability and up side is out indefinitely with what can only be described as psychological problems he might never come back from.

Basically, the club is a mess and a long, long, long, long, long way from where they were maybe fifteen to twenty years ago and they really need to look at practically every other team in their division and how they’ve developed their talent from within if they are to scrape themselves off the very bottom of the MLB ladder. Dayton Moore has a reputation as being a very savvy character and he’ll need to be to meet this ‘challenge’.

What you trying to prove?

First of all I would like to congratulate Barry Bonds on hitting home run number 715 and overtaking the babe to take the number two spot on the all time home run list.

Second of all I would like to instruct the world's media and any baseball fans who have a problem with Bonds to wake up and smell the Vino.

Seriously, I'm fed up with hearing "he's so arrogant", "he is a bad role model", "he is a drug user" etc etc etc. What if he is all these things? He has just hit number 715 and there is nothing you can do about it.

Do you know what I think? I think you are all scared.

I think you're scared that because this man has surpassed the Babe with his home run record that it will somehow endanger the legacy of Mr Ruth.

I think you're scared that Bonds has somehow cheapened Ruth's career and nothing could be further from the truth. The media, the fans, and indeed Barry himself has made sure that he will never be remembered as the enigmatic and revolutionary player that Ruth was.

Bonds' manner with the media and subsequently the way those behind the cameras portray him means that he has become the symbol for everything that is wrong with the game.

If you hate Bonds, then fine, go ahead and hate him, but reiterating the same points over and over again will not take away the fact that he has hit more home runs than the biggest player to ever play the game.

It's futile and petty to keep preaching to the converted.

One hundred years from now it may well be the case that every statistic that the Babe ever achieved could be completely destroyed by better players but we all know that it won't really mean a thing.

No one could ever take away what the Babe means to the game and what he did for the sport. His legacy will live on and will remain one of the biggest chapters in the book of baseball.

So please all you Bonds haters, shut up, you've made your point and the vast majority of us agree with you.
If you really don't like Bonds stop giving him all the publicity and attention that he wants.

Colorado v Toronto : Whoop-Dee-Doo

Its that time of year again and interleague play is upon us which means another diatribe on how much I hate it.

What is the point of interleague play exactly? In most games its a two game swing as you not only win but cause someone else in your league to lose, thus doubling your advantage. When teams like New York and Boston play this becomes even more significant but when you have The Yanks playing The Mets all you get is a win, you don't press home any advantage against a rival.

Basically, interleague play is just a gimmick. It doesn't actually add to MLB, all it does is boost PR with the handful of big local matchups, but for every Bay Area or I-90 match up there are a dozen Colorado/Toronto or Boston/Philadelphia games that no one really cares about but are merely there for the sake of interleague play. Also, so much is made of the ChiSox v Cubs but do you really think the Sox would rather beat the Cubs or do over the Twins, Indians or Tigers?

Another thing we lose out on are the non-divisional rivalries. Because of the added fixtures involving teams in the other league, sides with old rivalries based on decades of competition either in the old two division scheme or post-season play, don't see each other as much as they maybe would if interleague play didn't exist. Being a Toronto fan its bad enough the Leafs don't play the Wings too often anymore but the Jays don't face the Royals that much and those games always used to be interesting (well, when the Royals weren't the worst team in baseball at least).

I know that people will talk about how attendances are always high during interleague but is there a practical benefit to it? Does anyone else miss the lack of a track record to look back on when teams match up in the World Series? I know free agency means that a lot of players have spent time in both leagues and there is a level of familiarity anyway but its not the same as two teams being familiar with each other. Also, the World Series used to be the best team in the AL playing the best team in the NL but now that is slightly sullied because you are not just going to face teams from your league but a selection of teams from the other and who knows how good or bad your luck will be in terms of who you get to play? You think the likes of St Louis and Houston aren't grateful for games against KC? Similarly, you know Washington and Florida aren't best pleased with seeing the Yankees and BoSox. Its all a crap shoot. If we're going to have teams play interleague then why not just go the whole hog and have everyone play everyone at least once? Its the only way we can make this fair as right now the schedule is always going to benefit some teams more than others and do we want Wild Cards decided by virtue of one team having to play Florida and one getting San Francisco? I'd rather the playing field be level.

So whats so good about interleague play? It messes up the schedule, skews the standings, cheapens the World Series, takes away from more traditional rivalries and generally ruins the balance of play but I guess so long as there are bums on seats and the people of New York are happy then its OK.

How's Delmon Doing? He's Very Lucky

Delmon Young has been suspended for 50 games for his petulent bat throwing antics and all I can say is he's very, very fortunate thats all he got. He also has to do some community service too (50 hours) but is this really the sort of message we want to send out? I'm sure it won't help ease the friction between minor league baseball and the minor league umps.

I have long been a fan of Mr Young and have been going on and on for a few years now as to just how good he could be (I did the same thing with Rick Ankiel so a jinx may be in action) but even I can't believe he wasn't done for the year. Not only has he thrown a bat at an umpire but he also has a history of bad conduct towards the officials and he needs someone to really give him an attitude check before he blows his career away before its even started.

About Time!!

At last after over four years of limbo and abuse the Nationals/Expos have finally got a new owner as a group headed by real estate moguls Theodore and Mark Lerner secured the team for a reputed $450m.

The group will likely take full control of the team after the owners have their quaterly meetings on the 17th and 18th of May.

Maybe now the team can actually look to build upon the young nucleus they have and put the infrastructure back together so they can get back to being the organisation that produced the likes of Randy Johnson and Moises Alou amongst many others.

How is Delmon Doing? Not Good

Spurious favourite Delmon Young was a bit disappointed when he didn’t get his call up last September (wild understatement) and he might have to wait a while longer for his trip to Tampa and he’s only got himself to blame.

In a game in Pawtucket, Delmon was rung up on a called third strike which he wasn’t happy with and glared at the blue refusing to leave the batters box. After taking a couple of backward steps back to the dugout he was tossed from the game but took it in his stride and flipped the bat at the ump catching him in the chest.

Unsurprisingly the uber-prospect has been suspended indefinitely and after bumping another ump (pretty sure it was a different guy) last May you have to wonder how hard the league will come down on him?

Kendrick Gets a Shot

With Maicier Izturis on the DL, Howie Kendrick has been given a shot at the Bigs.

Not one for a walk but he knows how to hit and has been a big part of a strong start to the season for the Salt Lake Bees. Kendrick is hitting .386 after a truly torrid start that had him comfortably above .400 for much of the season so far so he might be moving up whilst on a slight downward turn.

It's unlikely he'll get many starts at second and as soon as Izturis returns a return to the PCL is likely but anyone who has had his approach to hitting compared to Tony Gwynn (I don't think anyone would actually say he's actually the next Gwynn) certainly warrants some attention and you just never know what might happen.

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Is This The Beginning of Something?

Well, we're a week or so in and what can we read into this young season?

Perhaps the most surprising thing is that so far there have been no real surprises. The Yanks, BoSox, ChiSox and Cards have all started solidly and the Marlins and Royals have started badly. Anyone could have seen that coming.

Detroit got off to a hot start behind the work of Chris Shelton but of course that seems to be cooling off now the champs have come to town. Similarly Milwaukee have lost the three after winning the first five but what was most surprising about that was how they seem to be doing ok without staff ace Ben Sheets.

Colorado have done well against their division rivals with a lot of input coming from Garrett Atkins who won the player of the week honours and is obviously feeling the pressure of Ian Stewart being on his coat tails. Stewart was simply inhuman during ST and is merely polishing off the rough edges down in Tulsa right now. He has cooled off considerably and is merely batting .308 with a .419 OBP and .692 slugging.

The thing I always look for at the beginning are the rookies and especially with so many vaunted prospects busting through this year.

My picks for rookie of the year in both leagues have had mixed results with Ryan Zimmerman getting his first career homerun off Billy Wagner to tie the game in the clutch but has yet to really find a rhythm and Justin Verlander pitched a stellar seven innings in the first start and then gave up seven against Chicago. I still hold high hopes for both.

Conor Jackson has continued where he left off in the minors posting a less than impressive slugging percentage for a first baseman but a freaky high OBP. Kenji Johjima has looked more Ichiro than Kaz Matsui thus far but so far the pick of the rookies has been Hanley Ramirez. Ramirez has been dynamic at the top of the young Marlins line-up and it's always impressive when a guy can post a .697 slugging percentage without hitting any homeruns. With the way the Marlins are set up this season there will be plenty of opportunity for guys like Ramirez, Josh Willingham and Jeremy Hermida to show what they can do.

Of course all this statistical analysis (if this even qualifies as that) is a bit redundant so early in the year but it is always fun to see how silly some peoples numbers are. Right now I'm getting a lot of laughs at how Howie Kendrick seems to go 2/5 every night but his average is going down (.452 at present)!! I still find it amusing that a AAA club can have an infield sporting guys of the claibre of Kendrick, Kendry Morales, Dallas McPherson and Erick Aybar but then thats life at Salt Lake. They might have to make room for Brandon Wood soon (by the way his OPS is a mere 1.319 at the moment).

Of course the one thing we can say about the season so far is that it can all change very quickly (come on, how long do you think Pujols' average will be below .320?) but I leave you for now with my pick for the top performance of the young season. On Wednesday the Frederick Keys had four guys combine on a no-no down in Salem against the Avalanche with Russell Petrick, Jeff Montani and Casey Cahill sharing four innings in relief of Radhames Liz who went five innings striking out 13. Not a bad way to start your season, eh?

Alternate Punishments to Drug Use

I'm sick of this whole 'drugs in baseball' topic, its annoying the hell out of me.

Every time I sit down to watch a game I have reporters screaming how Barry Bonds ALLEGEDLY took a cocktail of drugs to beef him up even though he did so WHEN THERE WERE NO RULES AGAINST IT.

Mr Selig and his cronies are determined to have a thorough investigation into drugs in baseball and want the punishment to fit the crime.
With that in mind I've taken to suggesting a few alternative punishments that would make players think twice before popping pills and get the topic off my television screen.

1. Players who use drugs should not have an asterisk next to his records. Instead the records should be printed in hieroglyphics so no-one can understand them.

2. All players who have been proven to have taken drugs should have to wear the number 666 on their Jersey.

3. Cheering, sound effects, fireworks and any other such celebrations are banned whenever a drug using player hits a homerun. Instead complete silence from the crowd and tumbleweed should be employed.

4. Once a player has been proven to have been taking drugs they should not be allowed to stop. Instead make the taking of more drugs mandatory so the player becomes a dribbling mess.

5. One strike for a strike-out against any batter who has taken drugs - they have an unfair advantage so why shouldn't the pitcher? It would also make them unemployable.

6. Drug user's bats should be designed to replicate a giant syringe.

7. Pitchers who take drugs have to throw underarm. Their gloves should also be removed so everybody knows what pitch they are going to throw.

8. Drug users should have to work as bat boys and serve refreshments to both the home and away team.

9. Catchers who abuse steroids should be shoulder tackled every time a runner comes home.

10. Extremely over weight players should be used to run for every drug using player that gets on base.


Let's see some action Selig!!!

10 Spurious Rumours

In the spirit of the McCarthy-esque witch hunt that is pervading baseball at the moment I thought I’d enter some other totally spurious and unproven accusations into the world. I wonder if any will be picked up and carried forth like the Bonds one or if people will just keep flogging the dead horse?

10 Roger Clemens is a devil worshipper and made a Faustian pact in 1997 to resurrect his career and on those days when he can’t be bothered to go to the game its nothing to do with spending time with the family but about affording himself the opportunity to gorge on human flesh.

9 Robinson Cano is the resurrection of Charlie Chaplin and his antics in the field are just his way of proving to everyone that he can still kick his hat away in the same comedic fashion as he did in the early days of cinema.

8 Tony Womack’s eyebrows aren’t real eyebrows but prosthetics designed to hide the scars from when aliens abducted him and removed his hitting gene. The only reason he hasn’t mentioned it before is because the aliens said they would return John Rocker if he did.

7 The real reason Billy Beane doesn’t want his A’s to steal bases is because he fears that too much running will wear down their shoes and he doesn’t want to have to be burdened with additional expenses for new footwear as its tough enough for mid-market teams to survive in the present fiscal make-up of the modern game.

6 Bud Selig wishes he was an Oscar Meyer Weiner. That is what he’d truly love to be.

5 The reason Cincinnati went from turf to grass is because they needed something to wrap Marge Schott in when they dumped her in the river (that might be in poor taste but she was a racist bigot).

4 Alex Rodriguez is a robot and if you open up his head you will find that he is powered by two hamsters working in tandem on a wheel. Scientists are working round the clock to find a more efficient power source in hopes that they can find the energy to power the personality sub-routines but as of yet no progress has been made as of yet.

3 The reason Hank Blalock is so slow is because he is weighed down with rubble that he must gradually disperse in the field. The rubble is from a tunnel that he is digging to Kansas City in a hope that he can rescue some of those poor guys from that horrible asylum. Other members of this movement include Sean Casey, Frank Thomas and Mike Piazza.

2 Pedro Martinez runs an underground network of male only clubs where men bond through the act of bare knuckle fighting and antiestablishment vigilantism but the first rule is he can’t talk about it.

1 Pete Rose didn’t do anything wrong …actually that last one is just too silly. I mean, who will believe that?


If you've got any rumours you'd like to start let us know. We'll always find space for them here.

The post says it all ...

Well folks ..... winter is gone, spring training is nearly complete, and Pete finished his Previews in record time.

Come tomorrow it will be time to sit down, flick over the tv to Channel Five, and sit back and watch the action unfold once more.

What more can be said, than ....

Bring it on!!!