10 Reasons The Yankees Won't Make the Playoffs

10. Defence up the middle or lack thereof - I won't start the whole 'is Jeter really a Gold Glove calibre shortstop' argument but I will ask what they expect from Cano, Posada and Bernie 'I remember when this were nowt but fields' Williams?

9. Tony Womack - They had a servicable platoon at second last year but decided to splash the cash on the Moth Man. Womack has been consistently useless at a number of defensive positions in his career so you'd think he was brought in to be the sparkplug at the top of the order. In a nutshell, what does he do?

8. The payroll - Even if you believe the Yankees have bottomless pockets they have too much dead wood with high price tags that will be extremely difficult to move so you wonder how much flexibility they have to make moves at the deadline?

7. A-Rod - He's a feckin' jinx who lacks the cajones to deliver in the clutch.

6. The bullpen - Its like like that first car you ever bought, its only a matter of time till the wheels fall off and you have to take it to the scrap yard. If not for River, Mets fans would be laughing at you.

5. Yankees suck - Sorry, couldn't help myself.

4. They've given too many good teams a generous head start - New York will catch Baltimore (sorry Orioles fans but its true) but the Red Sox are starting to get into gear and have that 4.5 game lead already. Face it Yankee fans, the division is gone. As for the Wildcard, The Twins are a better team and play in a weaker division.

3. The Yankees live on the long ball and homeruns have never been a reliable source of wins. Expect your boys to keep being streaky unless they get some speed at the top of the order or, to put it another way, remember how they managed to be so unstoppable in the late 90's.

2. Brian Cashman - Yankee Stadium is built for lefty sluggers but The Yankees are structured around righty sluggers. You need lefty pitching to counter this threat and the pen has only one lefty and he's almost old enough to be a ballboy in San Francisco. What is Cashman's plan other than to spend a lot of money?

1. Aura and Mystique are on holiday - They hang out with Roger Clemens on those days he can't be bothered to turn up for games and cheer on his team mates.